admin Back in July this year, Nintendo held a spectactularly bad Pokémon Presents, during which close to nothing was announced but for a shambolic reveal that there was going to be a new Pokémon theme park opening in 2026 called PokéPark Kanto. The announcement treated us to images of cheap, plastic Pokémon toys balanced on a table. Someone used the words “where Pokémon truly exist” to describe the supposed wonders of this place, while we saw fiberglass Pokémon put near some trees. It was amazing. Anyway, jump forward four months and an official opening date has been announced, along with a video showing…animated people visiting an animated park?
I am very here for this ongoing weirdness. Part of me wishes it could all turn out to be some Willy Wonka Experience-type fiasco, eventually opening on February 5 to reveal a bleak, near-empty warehouse with a few 3D-printed Pokémon toys and a lady wearing a yellow tracksuit and face paint telling crying children that she’s Pikachu. I realize, given this is The Pokémon Company (and therefore Nintendo), that’s not enormously likely. But it sure is being marketed like it should be! The park itself will be a part of an enormous theme park in Tokyo called Yomiuriland, and is described as “the first ever permanent Pokémon outdoor facility.”
But first, that Direct footage is still making me laugh months later:
And now we can add to it a superbly made animated trailer for the park that—because it’s an animated trailer that leans into the fantasy of the place—tells us literally nothing concrete or useful whatsoever. I’m going to go out on a limb and argue that The Pokémon Company has not successfully conducted some sort of gruesome genetic modification program and successfully bred real-world Pokémon to populate their park, so I suspect that we can at the very least reject the bit where there are Eevee and Pikachu scampering down the paths, or terrifying stampedes of Rhydon and Onyx as Pidgeo fly overheard. I am, however, willing to suspend my disbelief enough to accept that something a lot like Rattata might be present.
OK, so let’s be fair; the website for the park does show some proof of existence, albeit very sparse. Among a lot of cartoon images we have what look like real-life photographs of a Pokémon Center, a Poké Mart and a Gym. And then, bizarrely, the same photographs of fiberglass Eevee that we saw back in July.
So don’t get me wrong. I would hop from foot to foot in gleeful excitement if I were able to go into a real, actual, full-size Pokémon Center, where I assume I would meet Nurse Joy herself. But again, I’m getting abandoned park vibes before this place even opens.
There are to be three sections: Sedge Town, Pokémon Forest, and PokéPark Entrance Plaza, which will feature a Research Lab where you start your adventure. It remains opaque exactly how the whole thing will work, but you seem to be given a choice between a Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle (“No Timothy, Pikachu wasn’t one of the original starters! Stop that crying!”), and then you’re off to explore the various areas. The Pokémon Center will apparently feature Chansey and allow you to heal your Pokémon (which itself implies a lot), while the Mart seems to be primarily a refreshment area. Beyond that, there’s an Eevee-themed carousel and something called Pika Pika Paradise powered by 30 Pikachu. These both require separate ticket purchases! Meanwhile, the Gym will be used for live performances. Which seems a shame, given the chance to offer a bunch of challenges for kids to complete, right? And some of these live shows require their own separate tickets too!
Let’s hope it’s completely brilliant, and given that it’s being added to such an established and popular park, and created by The Pokémon Company itself, it really should be. But please can we have more of this super-weird marketing before any of that happens?
